why?

so i've told myself and other people that the time was nearing for me and brian to end things...we haven't been able to see each other basically all summer and in essence he forgot my birthday.... broke my heart after everything i did on his birthday. actually didn't break my heart at all, just made me kinda sad. but now we are talking about ending things again. why is it that i'm okay saying i wanna end things but when it gets right down to it i freak out and question myself and can't decide what i wanna do? i'm scared. i'm scared of what i'll miss and i'm scared of losing him. he has become my best friend and i can't imagine my life without him. only i know the relationship isn't going anywhere, i'm just scared to lose him. cause i tell him everything and can talk to him about anything and we always go on random adventures and i don't want that to end. i'm terrified to lose our friendship...anyway...little rant. other than that life is good!! i passed my stage 2 check which means i'm only weeks away from getting my license and it's all so exciting. summer is nearing it's end. which means i'll be able to live on my own again, but also means school...ehhhh definitely not excited for that. love you all.

"because the stars in the constellations are always joined in soul;

even when they are light years apart."