i was completely blindsided.
i didn't even see it coming.
and it hurts so bad.

it's been a couple days and it hurts worse everyday. i was not ready for it to end. we've talked a bit and i understand his reasoning (well i am trying to) but he is handling the situation all wrong, which is obviously my biased opinion. and i don't think he sees my point of view. we were so good together, i have never felt so comfortable or happy with someone. he promised me he wouldn't let anyone or anything come between us. he told me so much and i believed him. i fell head over heels. and i have never felt pain like this and i have no one to turn to. i don't know where to go from here. i am lost. i am not ready to move on yet. i really am trying to be strong but it hurts bad. my heart hurts. but what do i do? just put a smile on. i haven't even cried yet, which is a huge step for me. maybe i'll feel better if i do. i haven't even had an appetite. i had to force myself to eat last night. and to top it off, i don't want to lose him as a friend. and he feels bad and i keep trying to comfort him. what is wrong with me?! it's just what i do...i try and help those i care about no matter what they have done to me. someone please help. i need help. this is me letting my guard down which i don't do. please.

"Oh, you left me with a broken heart
And now I see you as I should of from the start
Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss
And now I'm leaving you with these lips
Everything looked fine from here
Everything looked more than clear
But now you are gone
And I'm still here
So check it out
And baby you can't find me
'Cause I quit right now"