it's funny how things work out sometimes. one day it can be perfect and the next everything is turned upside down. but i'm okay. honestly. i am stronger this time. i realize what i deserve is not what i was getting. yeah, i get lonely sometimes. i get sad thinking about how things were and all the plans we had that won't happen now. but i think i am going to be better off. i was fooling myself. they say love is blind. i don't regret it one bit. i had fun and learned a lot about myself and people and it's just a chapter of my life and i am ready to turn the page. start a new chapter. i want him in my life still, but i don't know how well that will work. i'll see him at work and we'll talk, but i have a feeling we'll only be friends at work. which is going to be hard for me to accept but maybe it's for the best. i just don't like losing people from my life especially after we've been through so much together. but like they say some people come into our life to stay and some just come in to teach a lesson and then we move on. so, there's no need to stress.

i know He is there for me no matter how i've been acting recently and i am ready to get my life back on track. meet some new people, who treat me right, go on dates, get myself back into church, maybe take some classes. i dunno. i just can't let myself fall back into the depressed person i was a few months back. it's time for me to find me and if another guy comes along i think i'll be ready because this didn't break me down like it probably should have. my heart is still open, filled with so much love. i just need to find someone who gives as much to the relationship as i do. change is hard for me, oh so hard. but i think i'll be able to handle this one just fine.
so here's to a new year and a new beginning for me :)

if anyone wants to hang out, i am completely free. and if anyone wants to set me up on a blind date i am more than willing haha.
be happy, it's the most wonderful time of the year.