it's a roller coaster kinda rush.

my emotions are very up and down right now. i'm not really sure what to think. monday night and tuesday i was the happiest i've been in a long, long time. and today...i'm still happy, but completely confused (only not that way!) i just don't know what to think. and i always avoid talking about things if i can help it. it's not something i should do, but it's something i have always done. avoid the subject at all costs and just pretend like it doesn't need to be brought up. not a smart idea. at all. but it's what i do...

i'm halfway through the second week back at school and already I have done more homework than i did all last semester. the classes aren't as bad as i was expecting though. my weather teacher is crazy...no joke. he does power point lectures and in the middle a slide will come up and say "let's take a break" and he shows the weirdest videos and pictures. one video was at a park and a dad was pushing his kid on the swing and this girl comes up and starts pushing her daughter and the dad starts staring at her and gets hit with the swing. so strange. then he will just continue with the lecture. i just have to laugh every time. math isn't too bad, 1060, most is review right now. hunter is in 4 of my 5 classes. love that kid, he cracks me up. electronics is...hard. i have no background with any of it so i have no idea what's going on. we had our first lab yesterday which wasn't nearly as bad as i was expecting. i've really gotten back into soccer. i played an indoor game last week. i ran a keeper training all by myself. i coach two indoor games a week. it's really...awesome being this back in to soccer [don't mind my english there.] i used to be at soccer everyday, and now it's getting back to that again! it makes me happy. i went on a date with brian on monday. he took me to ruby tuesday and then we went on a walk and just talked about things. it was really good for us i think. secret life is back on, which for some odd reason is my favorite thing to watch! but things up here are going pretty well. but, it is time for me to finish homework so that i can go to soccer tonight! :)

"i guess you are right. i'm afraid.

i'm afraid to let my guard down.

i am afraid that if you know all that i am,

you won't feel the same and

i'm afraid that once my barrier is defeated,

and i'm comfortable,

that you'll walk away."