deja vu

i was looking through old posts and it's so interesting to read how things were...
i stumbled across this post that was from this time 2 years ago...deja vu much? only difference is that i found that amazing best friend :)

Maybe there is something wrong with ME?!

"okay people, here it is.
i don't have any friends.
okay, not true. i have a few.
but none that i'm really close with right now.
i don't have a best friend
and i don't have any girlfriends.
there's a few boys to flirt with
but none with any real potential.
and more than anything, it scares me.
i'm scared that things are never going to work out for me.
which seems irrational, but is it?
so many people have left me that i'm afraid to get close to anyone cause i'm worried they're just going to leave like everyone else.
all this may seem trivial to some
but it's hard for me to admit this.
i am very stubborn and don't like to confess when something is wrong.
i like my appearance of being strong.
and i have become very strong and independent on my own.
i'm not even sad really, i am happy.
but it gets weary not having anyone to talk to.
i'm scared that i won't ever have that best friend that will stick with me through thick and thin.
or that one boy that will always treat me right.
and this isn't a pity party, cause i promise you i am over that.
i learned it doesn't help anything.
but i just gotta keep reminding myself that someday it will all happen.
hope and faith are all i have."