on the verge

so i am on the verge of figuring some things out about myself. i think one reason i am too afraid to make the first move with ben is i am afraid of rejection. i'm scared he won't want me. i don't want to put my heart out there to just have it thrown back to me in pieces. maybe i just need to take a chance? a leap of faith? i dunno...

oh man i feel like i'm back in junior high or something. every little thing that happens makes me so happy and ali is probably so sick of hearing about everything. but she stills listens :) but the other day ben winked at me and i pretty much freaked out. i'm such a little kid. but it's the little things in life right?

so tonight we had ward prayer meeting and ben was being spotlighted. and since he doesn't have any legit roommates his 2 brothers went as his roommates, well cause they are. [it's a confusing situation.] buuut they were all wearing matching soccer jerseys. so me and ali dressed up matching and were his fake roommates. we had the same sweatshirt, red east sweats, side pony tails, and green eye shadow and bows in our hair! soooo hilarious. we all went up to the front of the room and they introduced him and then his brothers and me and ali all said something about him and boy did we embarrass him! will said he had a sexy 6 pack [which is SO true might i add] and i said i could beat him at soccer, which isn't really true! but everyone was embarrased, cept me, i don't seem to ever get embarrassed. guess i'm weird? it was quite the adventure!

last night we made a 4-square thing in our rec room and played all night. it was genius. i also saw the most stupid movie called lakeside terrace. waste of time. i was really angry after it was over actually. buut me and ali are going to study math so i will talk to everyone later!!

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take,

the relationships we were afraid to have,

and the decisions we waited too long to make."