my head is screaming get a grip girl

my life kinda seems to be a mess. but only sometimes. last week was possibly one of the worst weeks of my life. pretty sure everything went wrong. and i mean everything. and the worst day ever, tuesday, i was in tears just crying about everything, and christine sent me the best text message which actually made me cry harder cause i missed her, but it made me a little happier. her timing could not have been any better. the weekend was a billion times better. i'll get to that in a sec. i dunno what it is about nights, but i always get sad at night. well not always, but i do. i can't figure out why. maybe cause i like ben so much and i want something to happen so bad and night comes and i don't have much else to think about other than the day. there is this kid, daniel, and i'm starting to like him, but it's just not really the same as with ben. i dunno, i guess i feel like my heart is so full with liking ben that there isn't room for anything else. that probably doesn't make sense, and i probably sound like crazy lady, but whatever. but daniel...is really cool. he is my friend brian's roommate and we've been hanging out alot. we watched prom night last night, which of course i got scared in. he's so funny, a little on the short side, but that doesn't really bother me cause he's not shorter than me. and he plays soccer. i dunno, sometimes i wish i didn't like ben so much, but there's not much that can be done about that. blah...boys are just driving me crazy. uhmmm i love my roommate kristina. we are pretty much in the exact same boy situation. so we can really relate and talk to each other about it. we decided the boys kinda think of us more as one of the boys. which isn't a problem, most of the time. we both just hang out with boys and so ya i dunno. i just love talking to her about it. we were talking today and she just said "any boy would be lucky to have us!" it made me laugh, she's such a cutie.

anyway the weekend was a ton of fun. friday i drove around with ben and joe looking for an undercover place to play soccer [which is non-existent..] we ended up at skyview and played on their nice turf field for a while. heather showed up and we started getting ready for the howl! heather was luna, kristina was ginny, and i was hermione. chrissie made us the most legit hogwarts robes. they were so sweet. we all fit our part pretty dang good! ali was bellatrix and she looked sweet! i died her hair black and she had a killer dark mark on her arm! we went to the howl which was actually pretty fun, slut fest to the max though. kinda gross. but there was dj and it was so packed you could barely move. my butt got touched a few good times. love you long time was a live band and they were way good. finally we walked home and went to beto's for dinner. saturday we got up and played soccer. it was the most fun at soccer i have had in a long time. it was just heather, me, ali, ben, joe, and will. the boys beat us at 3v3 but we beat them at soccer tennis. then we had nerf gun fight and the boys owned us, hardcore, but it was still fun. heather left, and alex showed up. i took an ice bath cause my legs were killing me and then we [alex, max, ali, ben, me, jessica, and kristina] went to the hockey game, which was really boring this time. no fighting at all and we won 14-2. we did beto's again cause we were hungry and then tried to ding dong ditch brian and daniel, which didn't work for very long. they kept opening their door, so we'd shut it, knock and run. so funny, but then daniel came out and caught us. so we went inside and i had so much fun. i hadn't laughed that long forever. there were listening to music through the x box and kristina got the other x box controller and kept trying to change the song so daniel couldn't and i kept turning their speakers off or the tv. my stomach hurt so bad from laughing. sunday was a super fun day. actually just lazy. we slept through conference, got guilt tripped, and then watched meet the robinsons, peter pan, pocahontas, toy story. went to prayer meeting then watched prom night. then went and played halo, which i suck at fyi! but that brings us to today, and i don't like mondays and i did not want the weekend to end. ohhhh well. peace y'all.

"i always knew that looking back on the tears

would make me laugh but i never knew

looking back at the laughs would make me cry."